There are approximately 47 billion moto vloggers on YouTube now. Okay, maybe not that many—but close. Every time I open the app, there’s another “epic ride” video with dramatic music and a drone shot of someone adjusting their gloves. Naturally, I thought: “Yep, I want in.” So here I am, joining the Great Helmet Mount Arms Race.

Seriously, helmet mounts are like dogs. So many options, they are all happy to see you. Some are faithful and useful. Some look great, however have the stability of ice-cream in the Sahara. Most of them don’t work out. I’ve tried side mounts, chin mounts, top mounts… at one point, I looked like a Teletubby with a GoPro This is my totally non-scientific, wildly biased, mildly useful review of the helmet mounts I’ve tested so far. Will you learn something? Maybe. Will you laugh? Hopefully. Will I stop trying new mounts? Absolutely not. Strap in (literally), because I’m about to ramble with purpose.